Skip to main content

Well...*sigh*

My how things have changed since my last blog. I need to keep this on my "to-do" list and check in more often, if anyone actually reads this.

My husband died 2 days after Christmas '05. I did a Legacy.com tribute to him here.

The boys have coped with the loss so very differently. Ry's very emotional and has been hospitalized at Brentwood twice, and BHC once, since his death. My boy just doesn't know how to deal with it. Jake on the other hand, is very non-emotional about it. He sheds a tear or two when we visit the cemetary, but then he's over it and ready to go. He's very...cold? indifferent? when we talk about George at home.

Life is...different... without George. I don't miss the fighting, or the affairs, or any of the "bad" stuff, but I miss talking to him. I miss the George I fell in love with. The George who cried the day our children were born and told me I looked beautiful right after delivering them. Sometimes I feel like Ryan, and wish with all my heart I could find a way to bring him back. Some way to go back in time and stop the events that happened in the wee hours of December 27.

However, I've met someone, James, who moved in with us in January of this year. Jake is all over him and I fear his memories of George may be receding quicker than Ry's. James loves me for who I am, what I am, and loves the boys as if they were his own. The fact that he's 22 to my 36 years of age, doesn't play much of a factor in the relationship, other than it feels awkward sometimes after being married to a man 9 years older than me.

I still haven't found an EMT job. They're pretty scarce, and with my legal issues, I worry that I won't find a job until those issues are resolved completely. I want to go back to paramedic school, but I don't have the $900 I owe the school for a failed attempt at paramedic school last year. I went back too soon after George's death, and wasn't really prepared to deal with life, much less drip rate calculations and IV lines. So I'm going to work on paying the school a little at a time and try next year. Meanwhile, the search for the perfect EMT job continues...

I do have a myspace... here and that's where I post most of my pictures. I haven't learned how to do youtube videos yet, or I'd have some of those too.

As far as Norrath and Everquest, I'm no longer a guide. Part of a long story that I don't feel like going into. I do miss it though. It seems that I've started an almost brand-new life that I didn't ask for, but I have no choice but to make the best of.

And life rolls on...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boredom....

Boredom is setting in, I've been on the phones for an hour and no calls. I know it'll be back to back here in a couple of hours, so I'm enjoying the peace while I can. I'm currently debating whether or not I have time to rip off my headset, dash to pee, and get back before a call comes in. My luck, probably not. And I don't want to waste my precious break time. I save that for when the call flow is heavy LOL I really do like my job. Seriously. This is like THE job to have. Sitting at home, just listening to customers whine and bitch about their internet. Having a smoke, having some wine. Just kickin back and relaxing. Sometimes I can't believe I get paid to do this. And of course I worry that the project I'm on is gonna come to a screeching halt one day. But with the current call volume the way it is, and predicted to get higher by winter, I doubt it. There are some agents that have been on this project for 2 years. So it doesn't look like it's going...
2 comments
Read more

Getting closer...

It seems like a decade ago that I wrote "We got it! We got it!" meaning the house. We have been through SO many paperwork hoops and such that we're both ready to just be done with the whole thing. A few days ago, I was put in touch with the title company, who will handle the deed and title for the land, and had to fill out a questionnaire, because my dad's "estate" was not probated, it just automatically went to my mom. Legally, that's not good enough for them, it has to be in her name in order for her to deed it to us. I filled out the questionnaire and sent them a copy of the death certificate, and the lady said that's all she needed to get the paperwork drawn up. I can't file my taxes until the 15th (this Saturday) so I can have the money to pay the guy to move the house. Can't move the house until we close on the new one. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed. The idea of packing again...ugh. Thank God for Bruce or I'd never make...
Post a Comment
Read more

So I'm sitting here at work...

I'm bored out of my mind. The calls are slow, and we'll probably get sent home early again. Hard to do overtime when they're sending you home early! I have to say, this work at home gig is pretty cool. Sit in my jammies, not shower for a few days if I don't want to, no makeup, no fancy clothes, and talk to customers. Overtime if I want it, more cash in my pockets. What's not to like? Heh. Too easy of a question. Through my own independent studies, I have concluded that New Jerseyians are born and bred to be rude. No offense to any of my Jersey readers out there, but that queue/area is the most dreaded one to be put into. Everyone groans when they're put in that queue. We bribe supervisors to get us out of it. Everyone that calls in is a screaming psycho and it's our fault that their internet has not worked for two weeks yet they decide to wait until 1 a.m. to call it in, and want a tech out the very next morning. Not happening, folks. Now to be fair, it'...
Post a Comment
Read more