You want me to do WHAT?

December didn't start off so well. My dad passed away the 6th of this month, quite suddenly. Well, sorta. He was diagnosed with single cell carcinoma of the lung (lung cancer) 2 years ago this past November. They gave him a year to live. 2 years later, and he was doing ok. We'd noticed a general decline in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, he was sleeping more, taking more pain pills, etc. The Friday after Thanksgiving, my brother called my mother and told her she needed to get home and get Daddy to the emergency room, as something wasn't quite right. He declined rapidly and only lasted a little over a week. Life is different without my daddy. I think of half a dozen things I need to ask him every day. From advice on bb guns, to car advice, to general chit chat I always enjoyed with him. I was too numb, too shocked when it first happened, but reality has begun to set in. My daddy is gone, and I feel a bit more colder in the world. On top of this was the usual stress abo

I seem to have a habit of blogging sporadically in huge lumps of life rather than dishing it out a little at a time. It's not that I don't have anything to say, I'm just too busy to say it :) So what has happened since my last post in...May...it seems. Well, my ex-boyfriend moved out, that was a good/bad thing. Good in that it ended peacefully and I have my house and sanity back, and bad in that now I'm the one doing *everything* by myself, and frankly that scares me. I'm not too fond of getting up every single morning at 6 a.m. to ge the kids ready for school, either, but at least for now I do get to crash back in my chair after they're gone for a brief nap. I finished college in August, got my Associate's Degree and even graduated with honors. First in my family on both parental sides to go to college and get a degree. What I'm going to do with a degree in Medical Billing and Coding now is anyone's guess. I haven't had much luck but with the e

I seriously need a popup that says "Post a blog today!" to remind me to come here more often. So much happens so quickly these days in my life that I barely have time to check email, let alone set down and write a journal. I keep a private diary on my computer but no eyes will ever see that one until I leave it to my kids when I'm on my deathbed (or I think they're old enough to handle some hard truths about the past). So let's start with romance. J and I didn't exactly work out, and the blame for that lies squarely on my shoulders. I realized a year into the relationship that I wasn't ready to commit to another long-term relationship, and that I moved too soon after George's death. My fear of being alone overrode any common sense I had at the time, and I ended up hurting people over it. We're in a "roommate" situation righ now while he makes the decision whether to move back to his home state or hang around here. I find myself wishing I