Skip to main content

Keep rolling, rolling, rolling...

...rawhide? Or something like that, the song goes? The last post I made here, we had just moved into our new home. Well, life has a funny way of working in 2 years. Not only lost the house when ex-roommate moved out, but lost my job as well. Now I'm living on the opposite side of town, and it's a weird feeling to be paying rent again instead of mortgage.
I'm engaged, but the marriage date is "indefinite." Originally it was Sept 16th, but then he decided he didn't want to get married so soon. I was hurt initially, but actually this is a pretty good idea, because we've only lived together since July, so it's a huge learning curve on both our parts. He's 12 years younger than my 41, so he's learning how to be a Dad to 2 boys (R will be 15 at the end of this month, and J is 12 going on 21 lol) for the first time. Very steep learning curve. I'm also adjusting to having someone around the house other than myself and 2 kids.
Sometimes I question life too much. I question where I'm heading, and what the future holds. I started last week with a great company, and got into a hit and run accident 3 days later which has left me with spinal injury, and now I'm off work until the doctors determine if I can work again anytime soon. Not such a great idea for a struggling family of 4, but what can I do? I'm trying to get my fiance' and my kids to understand just how badly I am hurting, but it's so new I'm not quite sure if I'm getting through. I can't ignore them, of course, but how else do I explain just how I feel, both physically and mentally?
I'm definitely going to start blogging more, since I'm not up to much else, and maybe I'll try to fill in the gaps over the last 2 years.
All I know is, I'm tired of this rollercoaster, and want my nice happy quiet life back.
It says in the Bible to have the faith of a mustard seed, and God will protect you. Lord, I'm trying. I'm pretty low right now, one of my lowest moments ever, but I have that faith. We had a near-miracle happen today, only to have it snatched away an hour later. Yet I will...well...Phillipians 4:13 says it all.

Comments

Din said…
Hey Mellisa!

I've missed you! I come here sometimes to see if you blogged something, and was happy to read that you plan to blog more, now.

Anyway, I can relate to your sadness, being goinh through a rough patch myself recently, but hopefully since you wrote the post things are going a bit better.

Anyway, so glad to see you're back :)

Din
July 12, 2012 at 3:09 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So I took this quiz...

You know, one of those where you make a numbered list and write down certain things by certain numbers like "By the number 3, write down the name of a member of the opposite sex. And by number 7, write down the name of a song title." Those kind. Yeah. Then when you're done, it gives you the answers to what each of those things mean. The creepy thing was it was right on target. I actually had tears in my eyes when I got to the last one, and it said "The song title in number 11 describes how you feel about your life." My song title was "Probably Shouldn't Be This Way" by LeAnn Rimes. I've often wondered why I was chosen to lead the life I do. I've done things to make it better, or thought I had, then I just backslide. I just wish upon a star I could catch that one major "lucky break." Just once. I have my consult for the Lap-Band surgery on the 25th of this month. I'm now trying to race around getting tests and paperwork and all...
3 comments
Read more

We got it! We got it!

Today's date was hovering over me like a rain cloud. I could barely sleep last night, wondering what today would portend. Today was the day we would get "the call." The call that would change our lives. The call that would tell us whether we got approved for a new house or not. 10 a.m. No phone call. 11 a.m. I called and left a message. 12:37pm, she called. I answered the phone with a hitch in my breath and fevered prayer to God. She sounded happy when she said Hello. Good sign. Then I heard the magical words "You're approved!" But there was a catch. We weren't approved for a brand new home, the one we'd painstakingly chosen flooring and wallcovering for. We'd been approved for a repo. Neither Bruce nor myself realized there was another option besides approval or denial. The repos are all in great shape, like brand new, and we can even use our first-time home buyer's credit as a downpayment. So now all we have to do is get the property tax in...
2 comments
Read more

End of summer almost near...

Woooohooo can you hear it? I can. It's the sound of parents happily buying school supplies and clothes. Wait...what's that you say? You don't get happy about buying school stuff? Think about it this way...you're buying not just tools for your child's education, but tools for your PEACE and sanity to return for a little while. Now I love my kids, really I do. But having a summer full of nothing but RAIN has driven them and me a bit batty. I promised at the first of June to set up their pool. Then the end of June. By mid-July we realized it wasn't happening. So we'll probably end up going to the lake if we catch a sunny day sometime to go swimming. Of course with this "break" in sight, comes a bit of melancholy. Ry's going to 5th grade, and JJ's (yes JJ, his new nickname as my youngest niece can't pronounce his full name and we think it's cute) going to 2nd. And my oldest niece, who seemingly was only born just a few months ago, is st...
3 comments
Read more