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Keep rolling, rolling, rolling...

...rawhide? Or something like that, the song goes? The last post I made here, we had just moved into our new home. Well, life has a funny way of working in 2 years. Not only lost the house when ex-roommate moved out, but lost my job as well. Now I'm living on the opposite side of town, and it's a weird feeling to be paying rent again instead of mortgage.
I'm engaged, but the marriage date is "indefinite." Originally it was Sept 16th, but then he decided he didn't want to get married so soon. I was hurt initially, but actually this is a pretty good idea, because we've only lived together since July, so it's a huge learning curve on both our parts. He's 12 years younger than my 41, so he's learning how to be a Dad to 2 boys (R will be 15 at the end of this month, and J is 12 going on 21 lol) for the first time. Very steep learning curve. I'm also adjusting to having someone around the house other than myself and 2 kids.
Sometimes I question life too much. I question where I'm heading, and what the future holds. I started last week with a great company, and got into a hit and run accident 3 days later which has left me with spinal injury, and now I'm off work until the doctors determine if I can work again anytime soon. Not such a great idea for a struggling family of 4, but what can I do? I'm trying to get my fiance' and my kids to understand just how badly I am hurting, but it's so new I'm not quite sure if I'm getting through. I can't ignore them, of course, but how else do I explain just how I feel, both physically and mentally?
I'm definitely going to start blogging more, since I'm not up to much else, and maybe I'll try to fill in the gaps over the last 2 years.
All I know is, I'm tired of this rollercoaster, and want my nice happy quiet life back.
It says in the Bible to have the faith of a mustard seed, and God will protect you. Lord, I'm trying. I'm pretty low right now, one of my lowest moments ever, but I have that faith. We had a near-miracle happen today, only to have it snatched away an hour later. Yet I will...well...Phillipians 4:13 says it all.

Comments

Din said…
Hey Mellisa!

I've missed you! I come here sometimes to see if you blogged something, and was happy to read that you plan to blog more, now.

Anyway, I can relate to your sadness, being goinh through a rough patch myself recently, but hopefully since you wrote the post things are going a bit better.

Anyway, so glad to see you're back :)

Din
July 12, 2012 at 3:09 PM
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